2 posts tagged “change”

    I think one of the biggest things standing in the way of change within ourselves is acceptance. We choose to accept something because it has always been like that and the fight to change it is too hard. You could pretty much interchange acceptance with laziness. We see the things we want to change, know (for the most part) how to change, look at the effort it will require, the fight, and decide against it. We can not become complacent. We always need to be fighting. Always.
    We have aids in the battle, no matter what it is, both in this world and the unseen one. We have our brothers (and sisters) who will stand by us no matter what and push us forwards, or drag us if need be. Having this group of people is one of the most encouraging things in the world. It is love. They can see the worst in you and they choose to see the possibilities. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. The fight isn't just fought by you. Its fought by the proverbial us.
    Loneliness is something that I deal with from time to time, everybody does. These people I'm talking about know you and know when you are in a funk. They are the ones who burst into your room, lay down on your bed and asks "What's up?" knowing that something is. It may not always be fun, denying yourself is a tough game. It is painful, but that pain is needed, like the resetting of a broken bone so it can heal correctly. We are broken and we need to be reset. The tough trials are there for a reason.
    Do not be accepting of who you are now. Pray for change, fight for change, and find people who will fight with you. It is a must, for we are called to do so.

    There are times for me when I'm going about my business where I just feel my need of Jesus. There's nothing trying about the circumstances normally, but I can't help but just feel deep down in my being how much I need Him, in more ways than I could possibly know, emotionally, physically, all that scientific holding the world together, every blessing I don't think is a blessing, and infinite other ways.
    When this randomly comes along and pierces my soul, I tend to think. He blesses me in so many ways. He shouldn't. He knows me better than I do, and I don't even have myself convinced that I deserve anything that could be considered good at all. But here I am, white, upper-middle class, in university, in an amazing body. I don't have physical needs. I don't have to worry about where my clothes, food, or shelter comes from. I'm bad at paying my bills, but if push comes to shove I can get help from my parents (I don't they know how much I appreciate them).
    I don't deserve it. What blessings he has given me I terribly misuse and think of them as mine. I mean in my mind I know that nothing I have is "mine" per say. And that's all find and dandy if I'm called to give a pencil to a kid in my class or something small like that. What if I'm called to give away one of the things I enjoy so much? Like my car, my MacBook, or something else I enjoy a lot. Would I? Do I really believe that I own nothing and it is all His? I hope so, but I have my doubts.
    It's hard for me to judge my heart because I know in my head what I should say and feel. I find myself a lot of the times trying to force knowledge to my heart. My heart is dumb, it refuses to listen to Truth. Every time I pray (minus meals) I pray for God to change my heart. I really don't want to be selfish, I don't want to be unappreciative, I don't want to be self seeking. But I am. Any progress I've made in those areas are entirely on the part of God, because I can't do it.